Death (Still Not Funny. Sorry.)

People who consider suicide as a viable option just haven't given death enough its just weight. It's a symptom of this death-trivializing society that we take for granted. I'm not even talking about how we laugh when the red shirts die in Star Trek, or mow down civilians out of boredom in Grand Theft Auto. I mean, when we know someone who has lost a loved one, we like to console them with things like, "It's okay. They're in a better place," or "They're at peace now," and you'll often hear about how it's "just like going to sleep." But it's not okay. Death isn't a relief. It's an end.

People say they want to kill themselves to make the pain go away. Well, yes, the pain will end. But you won't be around to feel the burden get lifted. You will completely cease to exist as a conscious being. People seem to think that when you die, you'll just be in a neutral state. You won't. You won't be in any state. You will have no feelings, no thoughts, nothing.

And the other big thing we seem to gloss over about death is how permanent it is. You only get one life. Dying isn't a restart button; it's a "quit forever" button. Like, literally forever. You will never experience again. Everything up to that point in your life will be your entire life. Nothing will ever happen to you again. You will never see anyone you know again. You will never get a chance to see how things would turn out. You are giving up entirely.

I have been through a lot of pain in my life. I'm pretty sure I suffer from chronic depression, and sometimes, the only thing keeping me from suicide was fear. Now, though, I've realized that the worst pain in the world isn't as bad as a complete permanent void. At least I can feel things. Even if sometimes those things are hopeless loneliness, or a complete immersion in sorrow. At least I know that maybe things won't be so bad in the future. At least I know, that by staying alive, I can see how my story unfolds, and only at the end decide whether it was a comedy or a tragedy, rather than ensuring it to be a tragedy.